A History Lesson From My Husband

Mike:  "Guess what the only apple native to North America is?"
Me:  "Red delicious."
Mike: "No. The crab apple. Those tiny, shitty ones that you eat in one bite."
Me:  "Cool."
Mike: "Johnny Appleseed was a real guy. He planted all the apple trees that we have today."
Me:  "Why?"
Mike: "I don't know, he probably liked apples? And he really wore a pot on his head."
Me: "Why?"
Mike: "He was probably just weird."

History learned. You're welcome.