Good Idea/Bad Idea

The other day I got the grand idea to clean out my e-mail account. I made the mistake of clicking on "All Mail" and realizing I had over 10,000 e-mails in there.  That's just insane and unnecessary. And since I'm unemployed and have nothing better to do really, I started going through them and cleaning them out.

This was both a good and bad idea.

Good because I found some great old photos and conversations.

Like these gems:

L&B in 2007, so long ago!

Me and my husband on our first trip to Disneyland. He looks like a damn baby.

Demon Corgi

Yoda Ears

Quality pug smoosh

This one needs no caption

And a hilarious e-mail thread between my sister and I when a former employer had Scientology experts come teach us their management program (that is not even a little bit of a joke) that we code named Mission Xenu and where I sent her things like this:

Am starting to think that the mission is in fact a big ole bag of bullshit 

Quotes such as, "Nothing is remembered unless it is written down." have led me to this conclusion.

    Also defining exhilaration as "being grateful."

    Have a very strong urge to poke out my own eyes.

That's just good stuff right there.

It was also a bad idea. 

Because it was like getting smacked in the face with eight years of the most whiny, bitchy, cranky, and dramatic side of yourself. I saw fights I forgot I even ever had, horribly dramatic e-mails sent to boys I used to like that didn't deserve it (sorry Fancy Pants!), begging my parents for money year after year, and complaints about everything under the sun.

It's actually had me in a giant funk for days. I can't help feeling that I'm just not a great person. That I'm a whiner, complainer, loser, bad friend.

So I'm dealing with that and I'm sure I'll get over it, but damn, don't read your old e-mails. It's not always pretty.

I have determined to stop sending out e-mails that use the word hate. I think that would have been the most common word in all those eight years of e-mails. I hate this, hate that, hate everything. Yuck. I'm going to stick a big ole' sticky note on my computer screen with a reminder to stop using the word hate.

I will say, since this all happened, I've talked to my mom on Skype and she has said some lovely gushy things about me as a person and how much she loves me and yesterday I had drinks with my dad and he did the same. So that helps and mayyyybe I should give myself a break. But I will take this as a learning experience and hopefully not be such a turd in the future.  Hopefully.

Because there's a meme for everything...