I Wish

Wedding planning lately has been rough for me.  I am, by nature, a highly neurotic and pessimistic person so the closer to the wedding it gets, the more I have started to freak out.  Since I have taken care of everything I can control, the rest I can just hope and wish for.  Here is what I wish for my wedding.

 - I wish that I will look good in my dress.  Every time I try it on, I like it less and less.  It has nothing to do with the dress, but with the person inside the dress and I'd be doing it regardless of which dress I bought.  Every time I try it on I find a flaw or something I wish was different.  I should have done this, wish I'd done that, shoulda woulda coulda.  So on my wedding day, I wish for myself that I look in the mirror and am happy that this girl is in that dress.

 - I wish that Mike shows up.  I haven't been fun lately, I hope he doesn't realize the morning of that I'm not a keeper and bail.

 - I wish that I want to show up.  My biggest fear is that I'll wake up the morning of filled with dread rather than excitement or joy.  I wish more than anything that I won't.

 - I wish that everything comes together well.  I planned this wedding completely on my own.  It's my vision from the menus to the table runners to the shapes of the napkins.  I wish that people will walk in the room and think it is modern and friendly and kitchy and us.

 - I wish that everyone will think our escort cards are as funny as I do.

 - I wish that I don't look mentally ill in all of our pictures.

 - I wish that Mike will find some kind of emotion at the ceremony rather than fist bumping me when it's over.

 - I wish that Mike will want to dance with me at least once.

 - I wish that no one will make me cry sad tears.

 - I wish that no one will give inappropriate toasts.

 - I wish that everyone will get along, including my parents.

 - I wish that I will just let go and have fun...as much as possible for me.

***UPDATE - every single thing came true.  It was a perfect day and all the stress was for not.

Bridal Shower!

Last weekend was my bridal shower and it was perfect.  My sister, mom, and bridesmaid Kristin did a great job and I loved every minute of it.  Here, because you know you love my lists, are 10 random things about my bridal shower:

1)  I love the theme Laura chose...her vision was a retro tea party.  My mom found a tea house in town that turned out perfect for Laura's theme.  I love tea, I love chachka, and I love tiny food...perfect!

Laura likes that I look terrified of the tea in this picture.

2)  Having everyone stare at you while you're opening your presents is nerve wracking and made me go into stand up comedian mode making cracks about every gift.  Apparently I was funny though thank goodness.  Also, someone should have told me to close my legs.  Whoops.

3)  It wouldn't be a tea party without some weird hats.  Mine didn't fit on my giant melon of a head.

4)  Even if you don't serve booze, people are still going to get silly.

I can't believe someone agreed to marry  me.

5)  Seriously, by the time you're at your bridal shower and about to be at your wedding, you need to have learned to pose better in pictures!

Laura looks great, I look frumpy

6)  Breaking in your wedding shoes at your bridal shower:  genius AND cute!

7)  Force the moms to take pictures even though they hate it!

8)  Don't let people take pictures of you from underneath.

But seriously, how good is this rehearsal bouquet Kris made?!

9)  Some of your friends might not know you very well.....

Kelly thinks I need this.....

10)  There is nothing like being in a room full of people that are genuinely happy for you and love you.