1) Yesterday I ate so much cheese that I'm pretty sure my body is forever going to smell of cheese
2) And I'm pretty sure I'll probably never poo again.
3) And I didn't just eat cheese and crackers, I ate the following concoction: one slice cheddar cheese covered in goat cheese with another slice of cheddar cheese on top. I call it a cheesy cheesewich.
4) I ate so much cheese I didn't even eat lunch.
5) Last night I drank a margarita with like two year old tequila while sitting in bed watching West Wing reruns with all the lights off and Mike snoring next to me.
6) I didn't brush my teeth after I drank the margarita and I'm pretty sure I went to bed with the majority of my teeth drunk off their asses.
7) I haven't washed my hair in like three days, (though I must say that it's not greasy at all and looks better dirty...by principle that's still pretty disgusting).
8) I haven't showered yet today and it's 9:20am.
9) I woke up to a dog licking my face and I just now remembered that my mom caught her eating cat poop last night.
10) I've worn the same pajama pants for like a week straight now, but I change when people are home to hide my disgustingness.
11) I walked around with all of my fingernails painted except one of my thumbs for like three days because I was too lazy to paint just one fingernail.
0 comments:
Post a Comment